Friday, April 29, 2011

Talk to me Queenie

Well Ill be damned!


How appropriate that we were able to nab the Queen! Coming off that snuffy inbred love fest, Im sure Liz has got something on her mind!




So; on with it Liz, whats on your mind??

QE: Mmm. Yues. (smirks)


WOYMB: Queen Elizabeth, uh, whats with that pert little smile. I thought you would be radiant - I mean your Grandson just got married after all!


QE: Yes Yes, well that certainly is on my mind, and I am indeed happy for them...Its just my mind is on other things at the moment...


WOYMB: Other things? How could you possibly be thinking of anything else? Care to enlighten us?


QE: Well...Its just that Im thankful...


WOYMB: For....


QE: For the new couple, taking all the pressure off my old, withered, Elephant-like heels.


WOYMB: Ummm, Can yo-


QE: Listen, you have no idea the shitty-ness of this gig! Have you ever wanted to do something simple like eat a Hoagie on a park bench? Or wear track-pants? Or scratch your genitalia in public?! Do you know how itchy Ive been on that fucking wagon? ITCHY! Thats how! And in summer? Pure hell. Its like a fucking Bus Engine down there!!!


WOYMB: I uh...


QE: Ive dreamed dreams of track pants wagon rides...Im eating olives out of a jar, drunk as a mermaid, flipping off everyone! But I cant. I...just cant....


WOYMB: Man. That's a bummer, eh?


QE: Yes, it is. It hurts me. But...I lament. It is my fate.


WOYMB: I never knew how bogus your deal was...


QE: Pure Bogus...



















































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