Domingo Faustino Sarmiento

The overwhelmingly positive response to Whats on Your Mind Bill is nothing short of Miraculous!

We are in tears of joy! Our tattered rags, and cardboard flooring rendered damp from happiness - and its all thanks to you, readers! Lets get to it then, shall we;

This installment features Activist, Intellectual, Writer, and 7th President of Argentina, Domingo Faustino Sarmiento!




So Domingo, whats on your mind?

DFS: I have lost Chorizo! My heart is shattered.

WOYMB: Dude, that sucks? Did it fall in the grooves of the 'Q or something? Happens alllll the time, and its always the best looking piece, eh?

DFS: No you fool! Chorizo is my Dog - my Dachshund! My poor Chorizo is gone - slipped out of the back gate, in the cool night air - and I am weeping for him today, sir.

WOYMB: So you didn't lose any pork then? Man, that's a relief! You had me going there!

DFS: You are more concerned with a tube of meat, that an actual Dog? You are not a good person.

WOYMB: Well, the Dog is kinda like a tube of meat anyway, right? When you think about it....

DFS: I am not happy with you.

WOYMB: ...And plus, I wouldn't even worry too much about it - if he slipped out of your back gate, its pretty wild out there, and I'm sure he was eaten pretty quick by Wolves, you know?

DFS: You are either a terrible person, or extremely stupid.

WOYMB: So listen, have you got any sausage? I'm famished!!!

DFS [begins to weep]

Niko Pirosmani

Unstoppable! Whats on Your Mind Bill's run of interviewing people featured on various World Currencies, continues!

This week, its famed Georgian painter Niko Pirosmani!
Shall we?

So, Niko, whats on your mind?

NP: I have mustache...Woman lust for Niko's mouth hair. Niko does not care what they want. Niko is for the eating of the paints!

WOYMB: You eat paint, Niko?

NP: Da.

WOYMB: Ya, I, uh...I guess that explains why the mouth region of your face is purple. Its paint, eh Niko?

NP: Da.

WOYMB: And, I suppose that the paint eating has a lot to do with why you're not wearing pants.

NP: Da.

WOYMB: And how you're playing with your penis?

NP: Da.

WOYMB: Well, Niko I think that is inappropriate. I am trying to conduct a serious interview with you, and you showed up pantless, having eaten paint, and are now masturbating right infront of me. For shame, Niko.

NP: NIKO OWNS HORSE! NIKO LIVES IN WATER BASIN!

WOYMB: Jesus Christ.

NP: NIKO IS SAD BABY!

WOYMB: There is paint everywhere...You know what; I'm done...

NP: AUUUUUGHGGHGHHGHGGHGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

George Kastrioti Skanderbeg

Well, its summertime, and I know what you're all thinking; when the heck are you going to interview 15th Century Albanian Lord George Kastrioti Skanderbeg? Well folks, we did it! We got Skandy Skanderbeg! Lets do it to it!

So, Whats on your mind Skanderbeg?

GKS: I am forlorn.

WOYMB: Ya, I couldn't help but notice. You look so sad, Skandy. Do you want some Peek Freans?

GKS: Sure. Do you have anymore of the round ones with the red stuff in the middle?

WOYMB: Shit. Sorry skandy, I already gorfed those all up, before you popped in. My bad.

GKS: Ugh, could my life get any fucking worse?

WOYMB: Its just a cookie, Skando.

GKS: Yes, but, that lack of cookie, combined with my recent poor fortune, puts me in a heavy wallowing state.

WOYMB: Recent poor fortune, eh? Ya, again, you do like kind of sad. What happened Skanderson?

GKS: My washing machine tore up my favourite pair of underwear.

WOYMB: Damn, dude, that blows.

GKS: Yes. You know the ones that you wear on a hot date, or to a wedding or some shit like that? Your number one, go to's in the rotation?

WOYMB: Ya man, that must be a tough loss, for you on a very personal level.

GKS: I have had seven wives slain by my own hand, and the hands of various enemies. The underwear loss crushes those. And to top it all off, its super hot here! Sitting on a plastic chair for more than 10 minutes? Ya right, pal. You might as well pour a glass of water on the ass region of my robe. My fucking swagger is gone. I cant even look people in the eyes. They were so Goddamed comfortable. Reliable too; like a good serf. I have shit stains on my robe now, too! Not a friggin' thing I can do about THAT I tell ya!

WOYMB: Well, I really feel for you on this one Skriggly Skroaty Skanderson. You're in a dark place, garment-wise.

GKS: Tell me about it....